As we experience the Holiday season you may be feeling a predictable swirl of emotions. Usually there’s excitement, gratitude, and hopefulness…nestled right alongside stress, uncertainty, annoyance, and worry. This is normal, as we all have a full range of emotions, and we often feel more than one at a time.
In this season, we can find ourselves pulled in different directions — and this creates tensions and dilemmas that can drain the magic out of any moment.
Fortunately, if we can recognize the areas causing that tension there are ways to find a better balance. We can “Name it to Tame it,” by identifying the issues along with what is most important to us and using those insights to prepare and plan for the season.
Recognizing Areas of Tension
Traditions vs. Change
Many things stay the same – it’s comforting to place candles in the same spot, hear the same songs, eat the same treasured foods each year. Yet, many things change as well. Families grow and change composition as kids get older, people leave, and people join. Allergies and preferences cause substitutions or changes to the menu, group activities change as bodies age, and gifting practices shift over time as well. The season is about hope, renewal and possibilities, with change always built in, yet it is also about memories of the past, cherished family stories and traditions that we enjoy each year. Choose the traditions that most provide comfort, joy and connection for you and those around you. Celebrate the changes, growth, and possibilities that support and nourish your family. You know yourself and your family well. Give yourself permission to be creative and focus on what works for you and your family.
Everyday Routines vs. Special Occasions
Everyday routines are important, even on the most special days. We need gas in the car, clean clothes to wear, and groceries in the fridge. We need to go to bed to be able to enjoy tomorrow. And yet, our cherished holidays are not normal days, they are special. Balancing the normal tasks and routines with the special events and rituals requires flexibility and effort. Knowing what matters most to you, and knowing what is most important to keeping your family running smoothly, can guide decisions about bedtimes, tasks, and how much time is spent away from home.
Caring for Self vs. Caring for Others
Our big hearts and our roles as friends, parents, mentors, and family members inspire us to provide care for our community and our loved ones—sometimes at the expense of our own bodies. The joy and wonder of the season are difficult to find if we are hungry, tired, overwhelmed, or resentful. Honoring you and your family’s limits in terms of sleep, nutrition, down time, etc. will help everyone be available to reap the rewards of caring for others.
Service vs. Enjoyment
Many opportunities exist to provide service to organizations, neighbors, people in need, and our own families during this season. We also want to enjoy the many opportunities to have fun, relax, visit with friends, bask in holiday lights, and accept celebratory invitations. Both can offer joy and connection. Creating a thoughtful mix will help make the season meaningful.
Making the Most of the Opportunities
For most of us, the goal is to experience and contribute to the spirit of peace, love and joy during this season. Identifying what matters most to you and your family, for this particular season, and then pursuing that with all your hopefulness…that’s a Holiday Wish for you!
All of us at Family Service Center wish you an emotionally healthy holiday season. If you need support, our team of experts are here to help.
